Sunday, March 28, 2010


There was a man standing in the corner yelling “Save the Boombox”.

.. ..

Another man kept counting to himself while rocking
back and forth “2+2=4, 4+4=8, 8+8=16” and he went on…..

.. ..

The coolest guy in the room was randomly quoting fun
facts. He didn’t communicate except to say another fact and the occasional
outburst. His two favorites were “In
1976, the 10 billionth gallon of "Coca-Cola" syrup was produced. “and “It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia.” This
would be followed by a few minutes of hollering “Oh, boy” up and down the

.. ..

My personal favorite fact was the one that made
Brit the Bulimic cry. “Every time you lick a stamp you are consuming 1/10 of a
calorie.” I don’t expect a Christmas card from her this year.

.. ..

You would think I would be scared to be locked up
with these people when in reality I love them more than I have ever loved anyone.
They are flawed and some damaged beyond repair but they don’t judge me for what
I have done, they don’t question how a seemingly normal girl ended up in a
place like this. They all know that there is no such thing as normal.

.. ..

To the outside world it probably seems that I gave
up on life when I came here, to Shady Lane Mental Health Facility, otherwise
known as Shady Lane Nuthouse. I’m not completely insane like the people around
me. I don’t hear voices or try to hurt anyone around me. My problem has been
labeled many things but certifiable has not been one of them. Even my
psychiatrist doesn’t think I need to be here.

.. ..

However, I do.

.. ..

It all started one night when the kids would not be
quiet, running and screaming, using my furniture as trampolines and diving
boards. Toys were scattered from one end of the house to the other. The dog
needed to be walked or fed, something was making her hound my heels to the
point that I stepped on her paw. The husband and the proclaimed King of the
House was on his video game and yelling at me to keep the kids quiet because he had important business to attend to in his virtual playground. I couldn’t
breathe. I couldn’t think. I just wanted peace and quiet. A moment of silence
would have been nice. The room began to spin and I fainted.

.. ..

I woke up in the hospital two days later. The
doctors couldn’t find a medical reason for my fainting and sent me on home.
When I got there the kids needed baths and homework done. They had projects for school and they were due yesterday. The man had a big competition coming up on his video game and told me I shouldn’t be tired. I had, after all, just slept
for two days. In just moments I was bombarded with 15 different things and I
couldn’t cope. My hands shook as I ran back out the door, ripping my coat on
the rusty nail that held the screen door closed because my husband was too busy
to fix anything.

.. ..

I drove 400 miles that night and when I could finally see the ocean, I felt like I could breathe. I had thrown my cell phone out the window many miles back and for just a few moments I felt free. Then I turned around and drove home.

.. ..

We tried to work it out, the hubby and I. Well, I
tried and my psychiatrist tried, mostly the man just showed up and heard what
he wanted to hear. When I point blank told him he was making me crazy he heard
that I wanted to see other men. If I had possessed a weapon in that moment I
would have killed him.

.. ..

Months went by and nothing changed.

.. ..

Then one day I drove by ....Shady
Lane..... The lawns were beautiful and the people
seemed so calm and sedate. Even the crazy people who thought I was their
daughter or sister and were irate when I contradicted them calmed down soon
after the nurse gave them their medicine.

.. ..

So I went home, packed a bag and check myself out
of life. Maybe one day I will be able to
go back but I don’t even want to think of it now. I get so much writing done
while I am here and the kids seem to be doing remarkably well since their Daddy
is too tired at night to yell and play video games.

.. ..

I would have to say; overall, checking in to the loony
bin is the best thing that ever happened to my family.


We’re sitting together watching the news which is not something we would normally be doing but we’re both too scared to take the next step, we sit close together but not touching watching talking heads tell us how awful the world is. It’s not romantic in the
least but we are both engrossed, avoiding the inevitability of why we are sitting in a run down motel on the side of the interstate. Months of foreplay and ..midnight.. confessions led us here so surely something will come of our sneaking around now that we are finally alone.

There is suddenly breaking news and my ears perk up, dragging me out of my own head momentarily
and out of the fantasy of what I thought this night would be like, our first time and all.

The President is making a statement. Before I hear his words I think of how the public is going to rip him a new one for going on TV in a T-shirt and khakis. His words tell me though that the public will never have a chance to judge him perhaps that is
why he went on in a T-shirt, one last fuck you to the world.

"My fellow... citizens of Earth... I'm afraid I have...
catastrophic news. I'll make this quick. Covert international peace negotiations took an ugly turn today. Thousands of nuclear missiles around the globe have been launched. We have no way to stop them.

"In one hour... we are all going to be instantly vaporized in nuclear Armageddon. All life on Earth will cease to exist. There is no escape for anyone, anywhere.”

You turn to look at me as this news sinks in, your blue eyes meeting mine in the dim glow of the
TV. I don’t know what to say so for once in my life I say nothing. All of the time that we have wasted seems poetic now. That what I have yearned and longed for will be the last thing I ever do seems just somehow. There will be no time for guilt or regrets; I decide to just go for it. The worst thing that could
ever happen already has.

Standing I strip. I kick off my jeans and wiggle out of my bra, leaving on my panties as I quickly
discard my shirt. The purple panties hug my mound and your mouth hangs open as you watch me run my fingers across my dampening crotch.

I straddle you and kiss your full lips, nipping at them, demanding a response from you. Your
silken tongue slides inside and the taste of you makes me moan. I grind myself onto the swell in your jeans as you slip your hands inside my velvet panties to grip my ass. Your mouth finds its way to my neck and you nibble there in that spot, biting harder as I press my throat into your mouth. No need to worry about leaving marks makes you bold as your mouth travels to me hard, pink
nipples. I tug at your hair as you nip them hard. The pain is welcome and wanted; I need you to hurt me a little.

.. ..

Taking your hand I press it between us, your fingers find my swollen nub through the velvet and I
groan as you make me tremble. My lips are full and slick, barely contained in the fabric. Sliding down to my knees in front of you I pull your pants down and off, tossing them aside carelessly as your throbbing cock beckons to me. You are swollen and vulnerable, your head already slick before I wrap my fingers firmly around you. I lick the sweet drops of cum away and lick your from bottom to top.

Stretching my mouth wide I take you inside of me, licking as I suck deep and fast. You use the
pigtails you requested to guide me, slower at first and then harder. Soon you are fucking my face while I lick and nibble where I can, my lips trying to grip you as you thrust up and into my hot mouth. One last thrust pushes you into my throat; I gag a little as hot cum shoots inside my mouth. I pull back from you sucking as I go, not wanting to miss a drop of your juices.

Our eyes meet and you smile, white teeth flashing in the dark. I grin our silly smile right back at you as I walk over to the bed and lie down, my legs spread as I beckon you to me. Kneeling on the bed you playfully hold me down while pressing your
crotch into mine. There’s nothing quite like Armageddon to make a man ignore his natural need to rest between hard ons.

We kiss, nibble and lick each other, your chest, my stomach; we don’t miss an inch of each other.
You slide down my body until your head is lying on my thighs; your warm breath tickles me and makes me wiggle. A firm hand on my mound holds me in place though and I moan as one fingers slips inside the panties I still wear. Your finger rubs the small strip of material that hides me from your lustful gaze. It feels dirty to still have on clothing when you are completely naked.

Your fingers work themselves inside and touch me, using my own wetness as lube. You make me yelp
as you tug at one lip and then the other; I spread myself wide and urge you on, nearly begging you to be inside of me. You take your time though and leave me gasping, thrashing on the bed with just your simple touch.

Finally I can take no more and I beg you, plead with you to fuck me. You strip my panties down and
bend my legs back until they are near my ears. The first thrust is magic, hitting all the right spots to make me scream your name and cum all at once. I
spray my juices all around you and the look you give me is pure passion, raw and unfiltered. I think to myself that you were happier with my orgasm than you were your own.

.. ..

You start a rough pounding rhythm that I struggle to meet, long, hard strokes making me moan incoherently as one orgasm turns into 20. My juices drip down my thighs and my cunt makes a wet smacking sound every time you slide into me. I put one hand on your chest to stop you. If the world is ending there is one thing I know you want to try and this seems to be our only chance.

I roll over and get on all fours, poking my pale ass into the air. My ass is already slick and you need little encouragement as I pull you to me, positioning your cock outside my tight, pink ring. I spread myself open for you as you slide inside of me, stretching me like no one else ever has. You go slowly at first, the tightness surprises you, it’s almost painful but you like it. Pain is pleasure for you as well.

One hand grabs my hair and pulls me upright as the other snakes its way around my body. Your fingers rub my clit as you start to pound into me, hammering away at me. I feel an orgasm building, bigger than the ones before. I move with you, meeting your thrusts with my own. Your teeth sink into my neck as we come together, waves of pleasure washing over us.

We lay there in the dark and wait for the end to come, knowing that if we die in this moment we will
both go happily.

One hour passes….

Then another.

Turning on the news we see there is rioting in the streets, people looting like never before. On every channel there is more violence. Finally I stop on a channel that is showing the president, this time in a proper suit and tie. The last two hours have made him haggard and aged him 20 years. He’s apologizing profusely for the mix up….there is no Armageddon; we’re safe except for ourselves.

I look at you and we laugh until it hurts. When we finally catch our breath we hug goodbye. I have a husband and two kids to get home too and you have to work this afternoon. I’m still laughing as I drive away. You’re the only guy I know that it would take pending disaster to get you to fuck me.

.. ..

I wonder briefly what to tell the husband….then I decide the truth will have to do. After facing down total annihilation a little adultery has to seem petty.


Daniel and Nicole:

The First Time

It had been 10 years since I had seen him and I couldn't help but think that maybe I should turn around go back to Boston. Maybe ten years wasn't enough time to put the hurt and past behind us. I gripped the steering wheel tight and pulled over to the shoulder. I had agonized over going back home for weeks and still hadn't decided what to tell him about where I had been for the past decade.

The truth is he probably didn't care where I had been but more why I was there and not married to him like I should be; where I said I would be. How can he know I kicked myself everyday for walking away from him? All the regret in the world wouldn't make up for lost time and I didn't know what kind of reception I would be getting in my hometown.

I remember the look on his face when I told him I was leaving. The hurt and the anger, tears streaming down his face as I walked away quickly, trying not to turn around and take it all back. All the hurt and the lies of the last few months had accumulated to this; breaking my engagement on Graduation night. That look haunts my nightmares, the ones where I run and run but I can never get away from his pain and him crying "Nicole, come back".

When I think back beyond that night, which is quite often, I remember all the good times we had as kids. We had lived next door to each other since third grade and we were inseparable from the start. No matter what it was we were doing from building forts to playing house we only had fun when we were together. Even our parent's thought it was a little much but there wasn't much they could do to stop us. By high school we were in love and determined to be together all the time, consequences be damned.

I smile as I remember the last time our parents tried to keep us apart. We had missed curfew and I failed a test so I was forbidden to see him for three days. It seemed like such a long time. I cried for hours. When my parents went to bed I snuck out, stealing my older sister's keys. I had a license but no car yet, although I was hoping I would get one on my eighteenth birthday coming up in 6 months.

I drove down to the garage where Daniel worked part time after school. When I walked through the door and Daniel saw me, his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He held me like we hadn't seen each other in a week.

He kissed me on the lips and we clung to each other for a minute. I heard Terry, one of the other mechanics, laughing and my face turned beet red. Pushing Daniel away, I stared at the floor but laughed when I heard Daniel tell the other guy that he was just jealous.

I went to wait in the office for Daniel to clean up so we could take my sister's car back. If someone woke up and saw it wasn't in the driveway then I would get caught far sooner than I wanted. This wasn't the first time I had snuck out but somehow tonight felt different.

Maybe it was just the chill in the cold, winter air but I felt lighter and freer than normal. For once I wasn't scared of what might happen on one of our stolen nights. It always felt so naughty going for a drive knowing no one had a clue as to where I was. Anything could happen and no one would ever know. Nothing had happened up until then, mostly staring at the stars and some under the clothes petting. I was a good girl and scared my parents would find out; they would be so disappointed in me. Sex was forbidden while under their roof.

Normally the forbidden scared me, tonight it made me feel adventurous and daring. I didn't know what the night might bring but I was willing to find out.

We chattered on about our day and how unfair our parents were all the way to the top of the mountain. Daniel parked in the field we had found on the side of our favorite back road.

We got out and sat in the bed of the truck and held each other looking at the moon. It was so big it looked like I could touch it and there were millions of stars, looking like diamonds scattered across the black velvet sky. I didn't want to move. Daniel holding me felt perfect but the truck bed was metal and cold. When my teeth started chattering Daniel told me to get back in the truck and he would turn on the heat.

Daniel rubbed my hands to warm me up and then pulled me into his lap wrapping his coat around me. We sat like that for a while letting the truck warm us. Daniel leaned his head in and kissed me on the lips, softly and slowly. I leaned into the kiss and nipped at his lips, more aggressive than I normally would.

His hands wandered under my shirt as we continued to kiss. My nipples were tight little buds as his work roughened hands slid into my bra to rub across them. My breath quickened with each stroke of his thumb and I pushed my chest into his hands, encouraging him.

Daniel leaned his head down to my neck and sucked right under my ear, nipping me lightly. I pushed his head down making him bite me hard. His hands grew rougher on my breasts, tweaking my nipples until I was squirming against his growing erection.

Pulling back he looked at me, his blue eyes questioning. In answer I straddled him and took off my shirt and kicked off my shoes. I took his face in my hands and kissed him long and hard while I ground my pelvis into his crotch. I saw the surprise in his eyes but felt his excitement. His hard cock was pressing into my jeans and I could feel my panties getting damp.

Kissing down to my chest, he took off my bra and took my nipple in his mouth, licking and sucking until I was bucking against him, moaning. When I could take no more I climbed off of him long enough to shed my jeans, leaving my panties on. Daniel pushed me down onto the seat and spread my legs. This was closer than we had ever been before and I knew there was no looking back when he moaned my name as his finger grazed the outside of my pink silk panties.

"Nicole, are you sure?" he asked as he dipped his head down to kiss along my hip. I couldn't answer so I nodded and moved to take off my underwear. He stopped my hands and looked at me until I whispered "yes".

He pulled my panties off and tossed them in the floorboard with the rest of my clothes. Running his fingers through my soft, red curls he had a look of pure wonder on his face. I felt myself getting wet just from the way he was looking at me, like I was a rare bird or precious stone.

He ran his fingers along the outside of my lips tenderly until I groaned and spread my legs wider, encouraging him to enter where no one else had ever been before. He parted my lips and rubbed at the hard nub at the top, gently but harder and faster the more I squirmed and moaned. I could feel a pressure building inside like I had never felt before. His fingers were getting slick from me and he slid one into me, testing and teasing at the same time.

When I didn't stop him, he pushed into me farther and withdrew slowly again and again until I grabbed his hand and made him go faster. I could feel my juices dripping down onto the seat and the pressure was so intense I felt tears in my eyes. Daniel slid another finger in and I screamed, making him stop.

"No, please, don't stop," I moaned, my body aching for the release I was so close to. He continued fingering me, faster and hard until I was writhing on the seat, crying from the waves of pleasure wracking my body.

I lay there for a minute after and I heard Daniel fumbling for a condom. He tried to open it with his teeth and couldn't do it so he got out his knife and got it open tearing a hole in the latex. The disappointment on his face made me want to cry and I knew I couldn't tell him no, condom or not.

"Come here," I said motioning him to lie on top of me. Again he asked me if I was sure and in the moment I was. I was ready to give myself to him and would worry about the consequences tomorrow, tonight was for us.

"Daniel, please, let's just do it," I whispered huskily. He lay there on top of me for a minute, his eager, young cock pressed into my soft, wet lips. Grinding myself up into him I saw him lose the war he was having with himself.

Pushing himself up, he positioned his head between my lips and pushed into me an inch at a time. It hurt but not as bad as thought it would. I lay still and tried to breathe as he stretched my pussy to fit him. Daniel was panting and dripping sweat but still only half way in when I felt him reach a barrier he would have to break. I could see the indecision on his face and took matters into my own hands, grabbing his hips and thrust myself up to him.

Crying out from the pain and the pleasure I rocked my hips into his, setting the pace for him to continue. He took over quickly, grinding himself into me, only pulling out a little before pushing back into me.

Seeing he was too scared to hurt me to really fuck me like I had seen on the internet I told him to sit up so I could straddle him. I impaled myself on him and rode him fast and hard. There were little twinges of pain but the pleasure was so intense I barely noticed. I could feel the pressure building again and I pounded myself on him as roughly as I could stand, digging my nails into his blond hair and feeding him my breasts.

His cock started twitching inside of me as I felt hot juices running down my leg as Daniel cried out. He grabbed my hips and slammed me into him, bringing on my own orgasm. We were both groaning and covered in sweat but I didn't want to let him go.

When we finally let each other go, we rolled down all the windows and moved apart to cool off. We couldn't stop staring at each other and smiling. Daniel's smile lit up my world and in the moment I would have given my anything to keep him smiling forever.

* * * *

Shaking myself back to reality I stared at the dark road in front of me. With Daniel's smile in my mind I got back on the road towards the home and boy I had left. Some way I would find a way to face him.


I hated moving more than anything on Earth. Having something vital amputated would have been preferable to packing all my stuff and lugging it to the truck and then having to unload it all again somewhere new. It had to be done though and here I was, two days away from moving across the country for the second time in my life and I couldn’t even finish packing my clothes. They were strewn haphazardly across my bedroom, spilling into the hallway where my son’s boxes were packed nice and neat. How I could have produced a child so tidy and organized I have no idea but he was all mine, from his blue eyes to his two left feet.

I gave up on the clothes and moved onto my jewelry, which should have been easy since most of it resided in a shoe box anyway. There were things in there I hadn’t looked at in years, my procrastination made me want to sort each piece right this minute though so I cleared a place on the bed and sat down. The first 100 or so things I came to in my sorting weren’t important, cheap earrings and broken necklaces that I swore I would fix some day. There were rings with stones missing and bracelets without clasps. Staring at the broken mess I decided that most of this could go in the trash, the good stuff was already packed away in my small safe. There is where you would find my grandmother’s ring and my mom’s wedding jewelry, nice stuff that I didn’t trust myself to wear.

I picked up the already full trash bag and dumped the jewelry on top. As I was closing it though something red caught my eye. It was another earring but this one I knew was pure white gold with a ruby stone dangling from it; one pure ruby, high quality and red as blood. My heart caught in my throat as I looked down at it just lying there. Everything inside of me told me to just let it be, to leave it in the trash and not dredge up old demons. I hadn’t seen that earring in ten years, had intentionally misplaced it in an attempt to escape the past.

I remembered the day he gave it to me like it was yesterday, sitting on park bench, my son playing in the sand box a few feet away. His name was Nathaniel and he was the best friend I had ever known. When my marriage fell apart he was there and when I fell apart he put me back together. I had cried on his shoulder and slept in his arms but never taken it to the next level. The day he handed me that pretty blue box with the sexy ruby earrings I knew I had a choice to make, to give him up forever or accept his offer for more. A good person wouldn’t have let this man with a heart of gold get dragged into the mess I had made of my life.

I never said I was a good person.

He helped me put the earrings on and from that day on we were together in every way a man and woman could be. I loved him without caution, for the first time in my life fully trusting someone with my heart. Nathaniel did everything he could to make me and my son Levi happy; he filled in as a father and was better to us than my ex could conceive of being. For once in my life I had found someone who could be my everything.

We lived happily for almost a year, Nathaniel moved into my two bedroom apartment with me and Levi and we stayed at his house in the country on the weekends, everything was perfect, better than I had ever dreamed it could be.

Nathaniel asked me to marry him on Halloween dressed as Prince Charming. Only the Wicked Witch could say no to Prince Charming and that was exactly who I was that night. I cried as I crushed him, telling him I could love him forever but that marriage was out of the question. Marriage ruins everything I wailed as I drove myself back to the city. My heart broke into a million pieces when I saw what I had done to Nathaniel, when I realized I had rejected the only person who had ever truly loved me without question or motive.

I called him a thousand times that night and into the next morning. Finally I could take no more, I didn’t even bother to dress, driving two hours in my pajamas. Nothing could stop me, I need to say I was sorry, wanted to tell him I was wrong. Most of all I just wanted to say yes.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I turned into the driveway. His mom’s car was there; she lived hours away and never visited unexpectedly. When I walked into the house I could hear her sobbing from the living room. The sound was gut wrenching and suddenly I knew. My legs shook as I walked into the room where his mother lay on the couch, tears forming pools in her weathered skin. She looked up as I neared her and uttered the words I had feared, the ones I knew were coming.

“He’s gone, Miranda. There was nothing they could do,” she started to wail and I only caught a few more words as the room spun around me. Drunk driver and wet road was the last thing I heard as the floor rushed up at me.

I awoke two hours later in a hospital bed, hooked up to beeping machines. My son Levi and his dad were beside the bed and when I woke up, Levi squealed and ran to hold my hand. The next few days were a blur of consoling faces and tears. I walked blindly through it all, in a fog of regret and grief.

Nathaniel looked so peaceful in his casket; all I wanted to do was crawl in there with him. I cursed God and fate for taking him from me, all the while a part of me blamed myself. He wouldn’t have been on that road at that time if I hadn’t panicked and ran away from him. My heart broke into a million pieces, the shards piercing me inside. For a moment I considered it, just letting go of this life and going to be with Nathaniel. The little boy crying beside me stopped me though, without me Levi would only have his father and that simply was not good enough for my child.

I had worn Nathaniel’s earrings to the funeral, I took one of them off and placed it beside him and with one last look I turned away.

Levi and I moved to Texas and then onto California within the next two years. I was running from the memories of Nathaniel, running from the guilt that tried to consume me. Day by day it got easier to breathe without him and one day I woke up realizing I hadn’t dreamed of him for the first time in five years.

So now here I am, crying on the bed for someone that would have loved me forever. The old guilt is gone now but in its place is a deep hole that no one will ever be able to fill. With that knowledge I finally put Nathaniel to rest. Taking that one lone earring I put it with my photo albums and decide that I am finally ready to let the past go. Nathaniel would have wanted me to move on.



From first grade through sixth I was a believer in Just Say No and D.A.R.E., two of the keep kids off drugs projects that the government had going in the schools at the time. I made banners for Red Ribbon week, I marched in the parade with my class, I even wrote a poem about how drugs were bad in fifth grade. I truly believed that drugs and drinking were horrid things that I would never do. I grew up in a household that taught me all the bad aspects of the drug culture.

Then I turned 12 and a lot of bad shit happened to me that I won’t rehash here. Let’s just say I started 7th grade with some major issues, memory loss being the least of them. I got drunk for the first time that summer and awful things happened which only reinforced my belief that drinking was bad which should have kept me from doing it….except it didn’t.

I started drinking heavily (for a 13 year old anyway) and huffing pretty much everything I could get my hands on in 7th grade and by that summer I was on a downward spiral that nearly ended in death. I just wanted to go to sleep forever and after taking every pill in my house I almost succeeded in making that a reality. For weeks after that I was numb. I just wanted to drink or huff myself into a stupor and be left the fuck alone by everyone, which was kind of hard to do since I needed people around who could get me drunk or keep me from hurting myself after huffing.

Then one day Susan came over and brought marijuana. I was hesitant at first, although looking back I have no idea why weed would scare me when I had huffed acetone and paint. Somehow actually lighting something and smoking it seemed worse to me but I was a kid and peer pressure won out. It was one of the best moments of my entire life.

Suddenly I was high and everything in my life was okay. The soul sucking depression went away; the need to hurt myself in every way possible went away. I was free from my inner demons and for the first time in months I laughed, truly laughed the way a teenager should. The past didn’t matter when I was high, my emotions didn’t overwhelm me and I just wanted to think about now instead of all the bad things that had happened before. I lived in the moment when I was stoned and that was the most awesome feeling in the world for me.

I stopped drinking so much after that and started stealing my dad’s weed, walking to the park to smoke with whomever was there and alone if I had to. I would swing and play on the slides like I should have been doing all along. For the first time in my life I felt like a kid with no worries or responsibilities.

A lot of people think that marijuana is some horrible thing that will lead you to doing things that you wouldn’t ordinarily do. They’re right but not in the way they think they are. Weed let me be a kid and lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders in a time that I desperately needed it. Mary Jane was my friend when I needed her and has been ever since.

I know this is my second marijuana blog in a relatively short period of time but Julie Says... made this our topic for A*New*Day. this week and after reading her blog Mary Jane, She Changed My Life. (with pics) - A*N*D 11 I couldn't resist telling the story of my first time.

What's your story? Did you and MaryJane have a first time or have you managed to resist her charms up until now?

How would you react to a 13 year old you know smoking weed?

Has anything I have said about marijuna on either of my blogs changed your mind or opinion of people who smoke weed?

LANE xxx adults only

He was perfect in his imperfections. Lane was first man to make me smile in a long time. I had tried to break away from him but something kept drawing me back.

True love?

Pure lust?

Either way I would find out if I could break the spell tonight. If a night of complete debauchery with him didn’t get him out of my head I just might have to kill him.

I had met Lane at work and ever since that first time he smiled at me I wanted him. He lit up my life in way I was completely unprepared for. Divorced twice and a single mom of two, I had my hands full just handling my day to day life, with him on my mind all the time I was starting to fall apart a little. I never really asked him how he felt although even after 6 months of talking, flirting and laughing with each other I still wasn’t quite sure whether he wanted anything more than friendship and a benefit or two.

I shook off all the doubts and thoughts of potential complications, one thing I knew for sure was that I was going to enjoy tonight. I had dressed just for Lane, pig tails and a tiny school girl outfit that barely covered my white cotton panties. The white shirt was unbuttoned nearly to my navel and my breasts pressed against the material straining to be free.

Lane opened the door of the hotel and his eyes nearly feel out of his head. He pulled me in the room and kissed me hard, rougher than the few gentle kisses we had shared in the past. My lips ached as he plundered my mouth with his tongue. His hands roamed my body, tweaking my nipples before sliding down and under my skirt to cup my ass. I moaned and threw back my head as he nibbled and bit his way down my throat.

His mouth found my nipples through my shirt and I pulled my shirt back to give him better access. His teeth sank into one nipple and then the other, suckling me and making me squeal. Lane raised his head, his blue eyes meeting mine as he pushed me against the door before dropping to his knees in front of me.

He lifted the tiny plaid skirt and pressed his face to my damp panties, inhaling like he had discovered the most wonderful scent in the world. He nipped at my lips through my panties and I spread my legs to give him better access. Lane worked his fingers inside my panties to stroke at my silky lips, I gasped, quivering at his touch.

Lane stripped the thin cotton off me and spread my lips wide, exposing my throbbing nub to his probing tongue. After a few flicks my clit was swollen and my pussy twitched, eager to be filled. Lane slid one finger and then the other deep inside of me, rubbing my Gspot while never letting go of my clit.

The first wave of orgasm hit me and I held Lane’s shoulders, fingernails digging in to keep my legs from failing me. My hot juices ran down my thighs and all over Lane’s face and I felt him shudder and groan, his face still pressed to my hot cunt.

I leaned against the door and closed my eyes for a moment. I needed to catch my breath, my heart felt like it was going pound out of my chest. I felt Lane stand and when I opened my eyes he was completely naked, his thick cock throbbing in front of me. He was slowly stroking himself, even his large hands unable to completely cover it.

Dropping to my knees I opened my mouth and let Lane guide himself in. I sucked every inch he fed me until I had his entire cock in my mouth. He slowly fucked my mouth, building a rhythm that I could meet, careful to learn my limits. I ran my tongue along the bottom of his cock with every thrust, swirling around the tip when he pulled almost all the way out.

He swelled in mouth as he started to go faster, holding my pigtails to keep my head in place. I tasted a few drops of cum before I pulled away from him. He looked down at me and when I pointed to the bed he let go and helped me stand.

Even after all that we just stood at the foot of the bed, our breathing ragged but neither of us wanting to be the first one in.

I turned him to face me and pushed him down, straddling him as soon as he was on the bed. Lane just looked up at me as I slid my wet pussy up and down his cock, letting the tip slide in before pulling away. Reaching between us I pressed him against me as I made his cock rub my clit. He started squirming underneath me trying to slip inside my warm box and I smiled down at him.

“Tell me what you want.” I said, letting him inside me one inch.

He looked puzzled as he thrust his hips trying to push his trembling cock inside of me.

“What. Do. You. Want?” I punctuated each word with a flutter of my damp walls. I clenched my pussy around him as I waited for him to answer. It only took him a few seconds to answer once he realized that answering was the key to a magnificent finish.

“I want you, it’s always been you.”

With this I slid all the way onto his dick and rode him hard. I held onto his chest as I impaled myself onto him again and again. His cock filled me completely as I ground my hips into his, my twat gripping him tight as a wave of pleasure hit me. I threw my head back and came, screaming his name as Lane thrust up into me hard and fast.

I held on to his arms as he grabbed my hips and pounded my pussy. I groaned as the feel of his hot cum deep inside me sent me into another orgasm. My body went limp and I fell against Lane’s chest.

I awoke a few hours later, my face still pressed to the soft curls covering Lane’s chest but this time I was curled against him under the covers. He held me as he slept a small smile on his face I had never seen before.

Aww, hell, it could be love, I think. I groan a little but the smile on my face tells the real story. I drift back into sleep cuddled against him.


Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.---William Congreve

I am angry.

I have planned where I will bury the body.

What’s worse is I have told him about it.

As I sit here waiting for him to come in the door I can’t help but wonder if maybe this will be the one night he doesn’t come home. I can’t figure out if him missing one last night with me would upset me or relieve me.

Him just moving away and leaving me alone would probably cure this incessant, all consuming need for his death. There would definitely be less chance of jail time if he took me seriously when I called him at work to tell him he was going to die tonight.

But if he just went away he would get the chance to be happy. A cackle escaped me as I thought about this. No, he couldn’t be happy, I thought, being happy would be too good for scum like him.

Tires in the driveway made me jump. An evil smile tugged at my lips as I prepared to meet my darling hubby at the door like a good little wifey. It didn’t matter that I had been awake with the children since 5 a.m. or that I hadn’t sat down once since getting home from work at 6 after working all day. Dinner was cooked and ready, clothes folded and put away and none of that mattered one bit to him. If I wasn’t standing at the door to greet him it was the end of the fucking world.

For once I didn’t mind waiting at the door like a good little bitch. I wouldn’t mind at all when he breezed through the door 3 hours late and reeking of stripper fumes.

Chad came in and gave me a hug and per usual his tie was askew and his eyes glassy. He wobbled a little when he tried to step away from the iron grip I had around his neck. He looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

Chad could be perceptive when he wanted to be.

“Did you think I was joking when I said I was going to kill you?” I asked him as I pressed the taser I had in my hand against his thigh. I let go just in time for him to hit the floor, quivering and screaming like he had been shot. When he finally stopped twitching I leaned down and hit him again this time aiming for his balls.

His back arched as he bucked around on the floor, his mouth opening in a silent scream. I hold the taser against him until he passes out, finally.

He wakes a little while later, duct taped to one of the Victorian kitchen chairs I had spent months refinishing to match his grandmother’s table. He never even noticed what I was doing, even when my hands would bleed from the sanding. Just one more reason he deserves what he is about to get.

“Chad…..Chad, wake up.” Standing in front of him I give his face a little slap to bring him fully conscience. His big brown eyes look up at me and for a moment he is confused, then the realization hits him, the memories of me greeting at the door swim to the surface and I see him shudder. He tries to speak but the ball gag he bought me for Valentine’s Day prevents that.

“Hey, sleepyhead. It’s time to wake up and play,” I singsong this to him while standing over him. The look of pure horror on his face is priceless. I wish I could take pictures but that cannot happen.

His face contorts around the shiny red ball, the leather straps bite into his face. He is trying to speak but after 10 years I think he has said enough. It is my time to talk.

“Do you want me to let you go?” I ask. He nods vigorously but I ignore him. Giving him false hope that this can lead to anything other than his demise is cruel.

I like it.

I pull out a piece of paper from my jeans. This is just one of my many lists. I have grocery lists, PTA lists, soccer game lists and phone trees. Most of them are things I wish I could just throw in the trash and never see again. This one is special though, a list of wrong doing and transgression starting over a decade ago.

“You, Chad Green have been bad, very bad. This piece of paper lists all of your misdeeds. I’ll read them and you nod your head if they are accurate. Maybe if you play well you will walk out of here. If you don’t well…..” I let my voice trail off as I straddle the chair that faces him.

“#1. You ignore your wife and kids.”

He nods quickly.

“#2. You don’t appreciate your wife and all she does for you”

Again a quick nod, the sweat beading on his forehead.

We went on like this for a few minutes, no terrible things on the list made him agree all the more quickly, Chad’s shoulders had relaxed and he was starting to look comfortable.

“You are sadistic. Only a man who was a sadist would make his wife have anal sex almost exclusively even when she doesn’t want to.”

This one did not get a nod. Chad looked constipated, his face scrunched up as he tried to speak, to argue. I let this one go though. One minor disagreement in a marriage isn’t that big of a deal.

“You are a chauvinistic pig who thinks that having sex is all about you. You are a sick freak who enjoys doing things to your wife that you know she hates. You bought your conservative wife a ball gag as a gift. ”

Chad just stared in almost the same way I had when he handed me what I thought at the time to be a dog’s chew toy.

“You have lied to your wife for years about how much money you have just so she will keep driving a broke down piece of crap car with no A/C, while you ride around in a Lexus saying that your company paid for it.”

He tried to deny this, whipping his head from side to side. A vicious slap across his face is all he gets before I continue on. We are nearing the end and I don’t want to give in to my need for revenge until we are done.

“You spend thousands of dollars on skanky whores who do nothing for you except grind their fish flavored crotch against your miniscule penis.”

Again he wants to argue, to spew his lies and eventually as he always does, somehow make this my fault. A hard kick to his knee with the steel toed boots I bought just for this occasion makes tears roll down his face.

“Shut up, you sniveling ingrate. I know where you have been, I have seen you there myself so don’t try to lie to me cocksucker.” Another kick to the knee and I move on.

“Last but not least, you planned to leave your wife and children, penniless and homeless while you run off to the Caribbean to live with the slut you have been not-so-secretly fucking behind your wife’s back. You think it is okay to just go wherever your dick leads you, you think it is alright to throw away a decade of devotion and subservience on the first hot twat to look your way. You think because she enjoys drinking and fucking til the sun comes up that she is perfect for you. You don’t even realize she is closer to your daughter’s age than yours you self serving bastard. You did not give a thought to your wife when you cleaned out the bank account and booked your flight. You didn’t care about the kids when you stopped paying the mortgage 8 months ago. All you cared about was getting your dick sucked by a big titted blonde on the beach.”

That’s it, the end of my list. I feel a sense of relief that I got to say all of that without interruption. Chad is thrashing around, grunting, doing everything he can to get my attention. I just ignore him and go about my business.

Taking a box from the closet I turn towards him. The box buzzes, sounds of a hive coming to life. I slit a whole in the top and walk away, nature will finish him off. Grabbing my suitcase from the hall closet I give a little wave as his body is covered in furry yellow and black bodies. His face is already swelling as I close the door behind me. I always thought he was just being a pussy when he said he was allergic to bees, now it’s time for truth and tell.

A few hours later I am back to finish what I started. The blonde bitch has been taken care of, it will look like a robbery gone wrong. As I open the door I see that Chad managed to flip over the chair he was sitting on. He isn’t breathing and I smile thinking he was telling the truth. I cut through the tape quickly and roll him up in the sheet that I had laid across the shining hardwood. His bloated body is awkward but I manage to drag him to the car and into the trunk without anyone seeing me.

After dumping him the woods, in the shallow grave I made for him I return home. I take a shower and go to sleep, drifting off with a smile on my face. The exterminator will be here early to get rid of the bees.

When my husband doesn’t come home from his business trip I call the police. They take pity on me, a frumpy housewife with a philandering husband. They are gentle with me as they tell me of his infidelity and how his trip to the Caribbean didn’t have anything to do with business. Everything went perfectly, the only thing that deviated from my plan was the robbery gone wrong. I couldn’t have ever imagined they would think Chad was responsible for the whore’s death. They never found the man I hired to take a trip to the tropics for me and the case went cold for lack of evidence.

A few years later and 50 pounds lighter I watch my daughter walk across the stage at school. The kids never really missed their dad or question that one night when they spent the night with their friends on a school night. In some way I think they too are relieved by their father’s disappearance. If they suspect my part in it they have never said a word.

Whenever I have my doubts about what I have done, I take down the ball gag from the top of the closet and look at his teeth marks in it. It always makes me smile.