MY FIRST DANCE WITH MARY JANE.....
From first grade through sixth I was a believer in Just Say No and D.A.R.E., two of the keep kids off drugs projects that the government had going in the schools at the time. I made banners for Red Ribbon week, I marched in the parade with my class, I even wrote a poem about how drugs were bad in fifth grade. I truly believed that drugs and drinking were horrid things that I would never do. I grew up in a household that taught me all the bad aspects of the drug culture.
Then I turned 12 and a lot of bad shit happened to me that I won’t rehash here. Let’s just say I started 7th grade with some major issues, memory loss being the least of them. I got drunk for the first time that summer and awful things happened which only reinforced my belief that drinking was bad which should have kept me from doing it….except it didn’t.
I started drinking heavily (for a 13 year old anyway) and huffing pretty much everything I could get my hands on in 7th grade and by that summer I was on a downward spiral that nearly ended in death. I just wanted to go to sleep forever and after taking every pill in my house I almost succeeded in making that a reality. For weeks after that I was numb. I just wanted to drink or huff myself into a stupor and be left the fuck alone by everyone, which was kind of hard to do since I needed people around who could get me drunk or keep me from hurting myself after huffing.
Then one day Susan came over and brought marijuana. I was hesitant at first, although looking back I have no idea why weed would scare me when I had huffed acetone and paint. Somehow actually lighting something and smoking it seemed worse to me but I was a kid and peer pressure won out. It was one of the best moments of my entire life.
Suddenly I was high and everything in my life was okay. The soul sucking depression went away; the need to hurt myself in every way possible went away. I was free from my inner demons and for the first time in months I laughed, truly laughed the way a teenager should. The past didn’t matter when I was high, my emotions didn’t overwhelm me and I just wanted to think about now instead of all the bad things that had happened before. I lived in the moment when I was stoned and that was the most awesome feeling in the world for me.
I stopped drinking so much after that and started stealing my dad’s weed, walking to the park to smoke with whomever was there and alone if I had to. I would swing and play on the slides like I should have been doing all along. For the first time in my life I felt like a kid with no worries or responsibilities.
A lot of people think that marijuana is some horrible thing that will lead you to doing things that you wouldn’t ordinarily do. They’re right but not in the way they think they are. Weed let me be a kid and lifted the weight of the world off my shoulders in a time that I desperately needed it. Mary Jane was my friend when I needed her and has been ever since.
I know this is my second marijuana blog in a relatively short period of time but Julie Says... made this our topic for A*New*Day. this week and after reading her blog Mary Jane, She Changed My Life. (with pics) - A*N*D 11 I couldn't resist telling the story of my first time.
What's your story? Did you and MaryJane have a first time or have you managed to resist her charms up until now?
How would you react to a 13 year old you know smoking weed?
Has anything I have said about marijuna on either of my blogs changed your mind or opinion of people who smoke weed?